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I just started this 60-60 experiment today and i don’t really have an idea if I’m gonna make it, but I’ll just let Him work in me.

So this is day 1, nothing special happened today, I just started to read this book entitled “Soul Revolution” by John Burke (so I’m going to quote some from this book) .

I just graduated this year last April, got my Bachelor’s degree in Nursing, took and passed the licensure exam, got a good rating (that was I want to have, i think) and now I’m a certified bummer (sad but true).  Most of us spend our lives trying to get what we think we want, but often when we get it, we ask, “Now what?”.  I think, I already had what I want but I still feel unsatisfied.

I remember how my sister cried when I was confined in the hospital, I was in severe pain and I realized “it was love” (like how Jesus swept to His friend Lazarus) and I cherish her love so much. God is love and it just came to me that all love that I experienced before and now was originated from Him. His love is enough to cover the whole universe actually.

The thing that just hinders me to submit to Him wholeheartedly is the fear of letting go of my desires. I asked myself if it is possible to have what I want in my life without interfering God’s delight. I want to be successful in life, I want to have my own family, travel the world and simply enjoy life, would God allow it? And then, God made me realized how His love covers everything, that His love is always enough for me, enough to cover me, enough to cover my desires. Jesus gave His life for me to live, He have given me everything before when He died on the cross and He’s still willing to give it over and over again until now, even my desires.

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

Now, I’m not afraid to lose my life and my want all for Him anymore because He is faithful and that’s the fact.  🙂

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God helps us delay gratification or give up something we really want, so that we can taste the best that life has in store for us a little later. 

I just realized how is it really hard to let go of the things you really want. It’s so difficult indeed and sometimes somehow the feeling of being broken is necessary. I got the quote from the book I’ve read few days ago about how is it to bear fruit of the Spirit.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

We can bear those fruits not with our own effort, but with God’s grace. It doesn’t come in an instant, it’s a process actually. Though I don’t totally, perfectly possess the others, what I’m focusing here is the part of having self-control (because I find it the most difficult, in my own opinion). We can encounter a lot of needs of self-control dose in our daily lives like simply buying that beautiful scarf you’ve seen in the mall during sales asking yourself if you’re gonna buy it or is there something else worth paying that money for or can be just a simple decision if you’re gonna eat rice for dinner or not. In my part, I’m really having this difficulty of controlling my emotions and Satan knows that it is my weakness that’s why he keeps on attacking me in that area of my life. But the beautiful part is that God is more powerful than him. As what I’ve said earlier, self-control as one of the fruit of the Spirit can’t be achieved with just our own effort or we can’t consider it as just another to-do-list stuff, it’s like a flower that must be bloomed with the help of the Holy Spirit, as we get to know Jesus more through His Words and through prayers as well.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

Self-control might include letting go of something our heart truly desires knowing God’s heart is better than ours, controlling yourself from craving to what the world has to offer you, but instead waiting for Him to give you the best that He has already prepared for you in His perfect time. 🙂

Resources:
Bloom Before You’re Planted: Gardening Tools for a Woman’s Soul by Lizabeth Duckworth

For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heals. Job 5:18

God allows us sometimes to suffer from different kind of pain, It may be physical pain, emotional or sometimes spiritual. But God surely do it for a reason. I have experienced the moment when I was so broken, I feel so lonely because of that heartbreak but God use that moment of my life for me to become closer to Him. He made me realized that noone and nothing can really heal my wounded heart but Him, even time can’t heal it (though it can help a bit), He’s the only One who can heal even the deepest wound, just Him, JESUS. He allows pain and suffering to let His hands work on us. All we need to do is to respond in the way He wanted us to. God has His own different ways of bringing His children back and sometimes it includes pain. He may not want us to see suffer but if it’s the only way to bring us back to Him or for us to be more closer to Him, He’ll surely never hesitate to do it. He’ll make sure that every pain and suffering is worth it. 🙂

weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning…

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