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Prompt#3: In light of the nearing All Saints’ Day, I’d like to know what death means to you. How do you view death?

What comes to my mind everytime I’m hearing the word DEATH, is simply the absence of life. Before I become a Christian, I have no idea what is waiting for me the moment I reach that stage. What I’m thinking is, I don’t want to be placed in that box and I don’t wanna see my earthly body being moldy or rotten. But I need to accept the fact that I will surely come to that stage of life, the only difference is that now I am convinced that life doesn’t end there but just the  beginning of new life with God in His Kingdom.

Being a nurse, I’ve able to witness death so many times, able to see people suffer from pain, see people mourn. Death can really be painful for some, I can’t blame them but I think they should know more, that there’s gonna be more to life.

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. -Philippians 1:21

Either to live or to die, we got nothing to lose because Jesus have already given us everything to gain. 

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Prompt#2:  When have you felt forsaken the most? What did you cry out to the Lord that time?

As of now, I can’t remember any instances I felt forsaken by God, its just that I know that it’s always my fault not His why sometimes I feel so lonely, so left alone, so forsaken. What I know to myself is that sometimes (I don’t know if it’s included) I can’t stop myself from asking questions with a “why” beginning. I’m very clear to it that most of the time, it is because of my disobedience why I am being hurt.

Not too long ago when  I experienced heartbreak, felt forsaken by someone I love, I found comfort in His presence. Though being taken for granted most of the times, He’s still there for me, waiting for me to come back, willing to forgive my every fall over and over again. I cried out everything to Him, I told Him how so lonely, so sad, so disgusted, so tired, so broken I’m feeling was. No one can accept my drama thing as He is. That feeling of brokenness made me draw closer to Him, made me thirsty of His Words and made me long in His presence even more.

I will never leave you nor forsake you… Hebrews 13:5

I’m glad how this bible promise verse would automatically ring in my ear whenever I’m starting to feel lonely and sad (sometimes, maybe due to some hormonal changes). It feels good to know that no matter what happen, He will never leave. I find His love really comforting. I love the way He loves me.

I’m having problem with myself and I’m actually skipping what I need to do. Honestly, my 60-60 experiment is failing and I’m really having a hard time maintaining it. It isn’t good, I know. I just prayed a while ago about it, I asked God if I’m going to continue that idea or not and I know His answer is YES, I must continue it. So, I’m going back here again. Truly, maintaining relationship requires effort and willingness. At this time, what my heart really desire is to draw closer to God but it doesn’t just end in that desire, I must work on it. I need to open my heart. Right now, I don’t want to depend on my own effort in maintaining my constant communication with God each moment but through His grace, besides I can’t do it alone.

Apart from the remaining days of my 60-60 experiment, I hope I can do it in a lifetime. The feeling while resting in His presence in times of busy hours is just amazing, I realized. That’s the only place where I could find peace, where I could dwell all my worries. Considering Him in every decisions that I’m going to have can make a miracle in my everyday life as I see Him work in every area of me. I’m really hoping not to fail this time, God is good and I know I can do it through His grace and with my faith in Him.

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