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I’m having problem with myself and I’m actually skipping what I need to do. Honestly, my 60-60 experiment is failing and I’m really having a hard time maintaining it. It isn’t good, I know. I just prayed a while ago about it, I asked God if I’m going to continue that idea or not and I know His answer is YES, I must continue it. So, I’m going back here again. Truly, maintaining relationship requires effort and willingness. At this time, what my heart really desire is to draw closer to God but it doesn’t just end in that desire, I must work on it. I need to open my heart. Right now, I don’t want to depend on my own effort in maintaining my constant communication with God each moment but through His grace, besides I can’t do it alone.

Apart from the remaining days of my 60-60 experiment, I hope I can do it in a lifetime. The feeling while resting in His presence in times of busy hours is just amazing, I realized. That’s the only place where I could find peace, where I could dwell all my worries. Considering Him in every decisions that I’m going to have can make a miracle in my everyday life as I see Him work in every area of me. I’m really hoping not to fail this time, God is good and I know I can do it through His grace and with my faith in Him.

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So this is day 4, honestly until now I’m still having difficulty in reminding myself every hour to feel God’s presence since I don’t have a watch that beeps every hour but I’m still trying. I made a lot of post-it to remind me every hour that I need to feel God’s presence and to pray also. I also made this picture on my phone’s wallpaper since I always have my phone with me and I’m always looking at it time to time.

I just realized the importance of constant communication with God in order for us to have a close relationship with Him, just like any other relationship. Maintaining a relationship really needs an effort, you can’t just sit there and wait until you feel better to put back the closeness again. It needs an effort or a little sacrifice also.

This morning, upon reminding myself that I have my 60-60, I can sense that there’s something wrong in me and I just can’t understand it. Then, I realized maybe that could be an unconfessed sin or there is still something I must give up but all I know that I want is to be free from it. I feel much better now, what I just need to do is to unload everything to Him ( I just realized).

As I continue my 60-60 experiment, I learn how to appreciate God’s presence with me as I come to Him in every (even simple) decisions in my life every moment, thinking if it’ll going to please Him or not.

I feel so lazy to attend the church service today because it’s raining and it’s just not safe, but then as I acknowledge His presence I ask myself (I don’t know if it was me or His Spirit within) Would you think God will be pleased by your decision? Can you give me an excused reason why you don’t want to attend church service today? The scenario in my head was so simple but then I can see how this 60-60 experiment works. It’s definitely seeking His face first before acting out.

This day is great, I can’t wait for tomorrow. 🙂

I just started this 60-60 experiment today and i don’t really have an idea if I’m gonna make it, but I’ll just let Him work in me.

So this is day 1, nothing special happened today, I just started to read this book entitled “Soul Revolution” by John Burke (so I’m going to quote some from this book) .

I just graduated this year last April, got my Bachelor’s degree in Nursing, took and passed the licensure exam, got a good rating (that was I want to have, i think) and now I’m a certified bummer (sad but true).  Most of us spend our lives trying to get what we think we want, but often when we get it, we ask, “Now what?”.  I think, I already had what I want but I still feel unsatisfied.

I remember how my sister cried when I was confined in the hospital, I was in severe pain and I realized “it was love” (like how Jesus swept to His friend Lazarus) and I cherish her love so much. God is love and it just came to me that all love that I experienced before and now was originated from Him. His love is enough to cover the whole universe actually.

The thing that just hinders me to submit to Him wholeheartedly is the fear of letting go of my desires. I asked myself if it is possible to have what I want in my life without interfering God’s delight. I want to be successful in life, I want to have my own family, travel the world and simply enjoy life, would God allow it? And then, God made me realized how His love covers everything, that His love is always enough for me, enough to cover me, enough to cover my desires. Jesus gave His life for me to live, He have given me everything before when He died on the cross and He’s still willing to give it over and over again until now, even my desires.

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

Now, I’m not afraid to lose my life and my want all for Him anymore because He is faithful and that’s the fact.  🙂

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