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The Lord responded, “Go, for tomorrow I will give them into your hands.” Judges 20:28 

I’m having this complicated battle in my mind of whether I’m going to start my own small group or not. I’d been a part of a small group for almost 5 years and my mentor told me that maybe it is time for me to bear my own fruit in others and also to fulfill the great commission (Matthew 28:19-20 “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”).

“I have the desire to do so but I feel so unworthy, unqualified and unprepared.”  – this was just my so lame, inexcusable excuses over and over… but of course I recognize the importance of having an acceptable heart pleasing to the Lord in serving, what I want to tell here is I think my knowledge and wisdom is not good enough for me to lead other people.

But God made me realized something upon reading the book of Judges, wherein He commanded the Israelites to ” Go, for tomorrow I will give them into your hands.”

It reveals to me that when God says “GO”, we must have no other option but to go. When my mentor told me that I should start my own small group soon, I think that was also a way of God telling me to go. Before God commands us to do something, He already know our potentials and capabilities that’s why doubting on ourselves is a big “NO-NO”, aside God will be the one who will work in us, not in our own power but His, not with our own skills but through His grace alone. We don’t need to waste our time preparing our tons of baggage because it is Him who will take care of everything. What God wants is just our willing heart to submit and to obey and the rest is His.

I can see my weakness

But You are my strength.

I can see my unworthiness

But You have showed me Your grace 

 God, use me as Your instrument

Not mine but with Your strength

Not with myself but with Your power

Lord, let Your name be exalted forever…


For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heals. Job 5:18

God allows us sometimes to suffer from different kind of pain, It may be physical pain, emotional or sometimes spiritual. But God surely do it for a reason. I have experienced the moment when I was so broken, I feel so lonely because of that heartbreak but God use that moment of my life for me to become closer to Him. He made me realized that noone and nothing can really heal my wounded heart but Him, even time can’t heal it (though it can help a bit), He’s the only One who can heal even the deepest wound, just Him, JESUS. He allows pain and suffering to let His hands work on us. All we need to do is to respond in the way He wanted us to. God has His own different ways of bringing His children back and sometimes it includes pain. He may not want us to see suffer but if it’s the only way to bring us back to Him or for us to be more closer to Him, He’ll surely never hesitate to do it. He’ll make sure that every pain and suffering is worth it. 🙂

weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning…


July 2018
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